What REALLY happened

[Above] Kelvin the denominator X
[Below] Raoul the alterfraudulent V

There has been a lot of controversy lately concerning the fight between Raoul (the alterfraudulent shapeshifter) and Kelvin (the denominating teleporter) and i have set out to resolve the confusion between these rivals.

A popular concept entertained by both combatants is the undying weakness of the other compared to them - but i will prove this wrong. Raoul humiliates kelvin and calls him unintelligent, but in turn Kelvin whups Raoul and says he is weak.
None of the two, however, are weak. None of the two are dumb, either.

It says in the one book of laurem scriptum (the book of laws) that two kentaki warriors may face off and battle but if they alternately follow the dual rule of antesahk-ohonika they will rise to equal strength and force and be unable to defeat each other in force and mentality.

As incredible as this sounds, it is undeniably true and can be proven by the grand sage from the halls of Olympus. Therefore i prove that Raoul and Kelvin are (though unrivalled by other warriors) of equal strength and vitality.

To some this post will seem surprisingly unbiased, because as yet no difference has been made from one warrior to the other. And my rival Kelvin was expecting a violent comeback, not one of neutral appraisement on behalf of both fronts. As a member of the greater sensei (as is my colleague Kelvin) i feel it is within my honour and rights as a fighter to tell of the great battle undertaken by this formidable pair. I promise you all that would i were skilled enough i would produce a manga-style animated motion-picture of this amazing struggle for leadership of power.

I will begin from the climb to the arena...

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It was getting dark as Kelvin wiped his sweaty brow in anticipation for the upcoming fight. He was in his arena chamber, killing time on the games console while waiting for the inevitable battle with his rival Raoul at midnight. It wasn't often he got to challenge another member of dual order, let alone one of a rank and power equal to his. He expected Raoul was probably in his own private chmber, playing his own console, waiting with as much nervousness as he for the final duel.
Kelvin finished off the stage he was on, then sighed and put the machine on standby mode. He was too excited to enjoy the game, and he could feel the adrenaline rushing through his muscular body. Time for a drink - he always took a shot of beverage before big fights...

***

Raoul was still in the wardrobe, deciding what to wear. He didn't want something too flashy, but rather a subtle, dark - but still fashionable - suit of armour. His brand new model seven steel plate costume was (much to his distaste) still at the dry-cleaners so he would have to find something he had't worn in while. There was his enchanted leather rune belt, he was definitely wearing that, and his best jinsei rockblade was leaning against the door to be picked up when he was dressed. Raoul pulled out a glitchsuit he had made himself and cast the renew encantation over it to recharge the waves. He would be wearing that under the main armour.
Finally, after he had decided on everything, he opened the still warm pizza box and ate his dinner in front of the TV.
In a couple of hours he would be in front of a roaring crowd about to face the one opponent he had never crossed blades with before - that pesky teleporter Kelvin.

***

"And he stabbed him in the back!" Yelled Kelvin, finishing another hilarious joke with the other drunkards in the bar. a wave of raucous lughter filled the inn and more alcohol was passed round.

Kelvin was stoned. He had drunk far too much and looked ready to pass out. Turning over on the bench, he made as if to throw up but instead muttered an inaudible spell. Then, rising up from the heap of sleeping and unconscious drunks, he walked to the counter, paid the bill, and strode out of the pub without even a stagger. He used the anti-drunkness spell increasingly often nowadays - if he won the fight he would try to drink less. His ma said it was bad for your health to drink too much. He checked the bio data read on his wrist and noted that he had five minutes to get to the arena. If he took a taxi, it would take about fifteen minutes to get there on time. But who needs taxis when you can teleport wherever whenever? Grinning, he disappeared from sight.


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